7:15
I will not unlock my eyes.
7:20
I nestle in the sunshine, clutching it.
7:25
I want to linger in its delicate warmth.
7:30
I want to linger in its radiating newness.
7:35
I cannot spoil a new day if it hasn't truly begun.
7:40
I can dream in this light.
7:45
I can wallow in possibility.
7:50
I pull the covers even closer, shielding my face from inevitability.
7:55
I peek as the sun is sitting high.
8:00
I see the hour hand make its mark.
8:05
I feel logic's nag.
8:10
I remain wrapped.
8:15
I fear and loathe the clock.
8:20
Spoiled.
Sunday, November 21
Friday, October 15
Silhouettes–Definition Through Simplicity
All images featured are from Lens, a photography blog associated with The New York Times.
Thursday, October 14
The [Brent Spence] Bridge Song
You were intertwined with him on your father's couch, and I lay displaced nearby. I overlooked the river as we talked, seeing it divide city from country. As grown up as I felt with elitist upperclassmen, I was aware of the divide, and certainly on the fringe. If I had my license, I would've left, but you wound me around your finger, convincing me to stay and watch The Royal Tenenbaums, braiding me into belonging. You bathed in the uniqueness of this "new" music, mimicking the poetic sounds while deaf to their meanings. I mimicked you.
I discovered the "59th Street Bridge Song" by Simon & Garfunkel long before I recognized that the 59th Street bridge connected Manhattan to Queens, and that for three months, I walked past this bridge almost daily. Past, not over. I was never in the lighthearted mood the poetic sounds insinuated, but then again I was moving so fast, stirring up a deafening wind, that I camouflaged any possibilities of connecting. I ran past, and continued to encounter the divide.
I'm intertwined into an unlikely city now with 1/7 of the population. I drive the Brent Spence Bridge daily, linking work and home. Windows down, I blare "The Seventh Seal" from an old high school mix, the only CDs that play in my car now. The car, the music, the bridge—nothing unique, but all propelling me toward and through. Spinning my straw into gold, I am sewn into the fabric of this city.
I discovered the "59th Street Bridge Song" by Simon & Garfunkel long before I recognized that the 59th Street bridge connected Manhattan to Queens, and that for three months, I walked past this bridge almost daily. Past, not over. I was never in the lighthearted mood the poetic sounds insinuated, but then again I was moving so fast, stirring up a deafening wind, that I camouflaged any possibilities of connecting. I ran past, and continued to encounter the divide.
I'm intertwined into an unlikely city now with 1/7 of the population. I drive the Brent Spence Bridge daily, linking work and home. Windows down, I blare "The Seventh Seal" from an old high school mix, the only CDs that play in my car now. The car, the music, the bridge—nothing unique, but all propelling me toward and through. Spinning my straw into gold, I am sewn into the fabric of this city.
Wednesday, September 22
Meyer Lemons
How do you view the lemons that are handed to you? Do you see the sour truth or contemplate the possibilities?
Thursday, September 9
Scattered Pieces
Between the beaches and the mountains the fog churns. I sit outside the Kodak Theater in the grey, tangled in dreams of the past and present. Angela Lansbury and Lawrence Welk are sex shop doormats, and the Golden Age of this city hangs as a mink stole across my arms, tossed by the gale of a passing Porsche. I feel blindly for a totem, for time has folded up onto itself, broken into pieces and rearranged into something indistinguishable.
The ground is covered in a mosaic of small pieces, stories of dreams realized and grouted into place, stories about packing up and heading west, about leaving everything to gain something. But what happens when plans change, when the mosaic you have laid is now scattered in front of you?
"I went to film school but became known for the dinners I gave, not for my camera work. Now I am a producer of parties, with the guests and the food as co-stars." —Caterer
I gather these pieces from my once mosaic, distorted ideas that are now shrapnel. The pieces cut my hands as I am unable to let go of my design. How do I create from this brokenness?
My pieces must be sorted and rearranged into something more exquisite, to tell a story exceeding my dreams. I can't sort these fragments of my life on my own, yet the pattern of the One who knows the passions of my heart is hidden. How do I trust in the fog?
The ground is covered in a mosaic of small pieces, stories of dreams realized and grouted into place, stories about packing up and heading west, about leaving everything to gain something. But what happens when plans change, when the mosaic you have laid is now scattered in front of you?
"I went to film school but became known for the dinners I gave, not for my camera work. Now I am a producer of parties, with the guests and the food as co-stars." —Caterer
I gather these pieces from my once mosaic, distorted ideas that are now shrapnel. The pieces cut my hands as I am unable to let go of my design. How do I create from this brokenness?
My pieces must be sorted and rearranged into something more exquisite, to tell a story exceeding my dreams. I can't sort these fragments of my life on my own, yet the pattern of the One who knows the passions of my heart is hidden. How do I trust in the fog?
Tuesday, September 22
Music: G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R
[Album/Artist] "Song"—memory
[Give Yourself Away/Robbie Seay Band] "Rise"—Crossroads
[Gotee Records/Family Force 5] "Kountry Gentleman"—Julie
[A Grateful People/Watermark] "More Than You'll Ever Know"—Kris and Cami
[Grease] "Summer Lovin'"—Andrea's house, middle school, along with that mall board game, and that metalcasting set
[Guero/Beck]—freshman year of college
[Guys and Dolls] "Sit Down You're Rockin' The Boat"—an overwritten cassette, hello how are you doooing...
[Harmful If Swallowed/Dane Cook] "Stupid Alarm Clock Games"—Meghan, freshman year of college
[Hello Dolly!]—Steph, sleeping in muslin piles
[Hideaway/The Weepies] "Just Blue"—driving away from the Hatchet on a cold rainy morning
[The Highest Heights/The Lovebugs] "21st Century Man"—driving with Darwin on the way to Herzogenbuchsee
[Hits/Joni Mitchell] "Both Sides Now"—March 2009
[The Hits/REO Speedwagon] "Keep On Lovin' You"—Dad, the falling over letters
[The Holiday] "Three Musketeers"—Allison
[Home Alone Christmas/Fox Albert Choir] "My Christmas Tree"—Matt, and the Thanksgiving tradition
[Hook] "Presenting the Hook"—a certain bet
[Hopes and Fears/Keane]—Julie
[Horse of a Different Color/Big and Rich]—Senior year of high school, backstage at JLJ, Todd
[Hot Fuss/The Killers]—Julie, getting into the car in the park in Napoleon
[Hotel Paper/Michelle Branch]—Tiffany, painting the 4-H booth
[How It Ends/Devotchka] "How It Ends"—Megan and our drives freshman year
[How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb/U2] "City of Blinding Lights"—watching A Devil Wears Prada, dad, warm socks
[How To Save A Life/The Fray]—Alyssa
[Hunchback of Notre Dame]—freshman year art history
[Hungriges Herz/Scala and Kolacny Brothers] "Hungriges Herz"—late nights at the Lindenhof flat
[I Am Telling You For The Last Time/Jerry Seinfeld]—Julie, the Kramer silkscreen, Lord of the Flies and AP Lit
[In Bruges]—Katie, assigned theater seats
[Into the Light/Gloria Estefan] "Coming Out Of The Dark"—Dad, the blue Toyota
[Into Your Head/BB Mak]—high school
[Invincible/Skillet] "Best Kept Secret"—wrecklessly pulling into the high school parking lot
[It's Time/Michael Bublé] "Home"—Linda, and driving to Denver
[Jagged Little Pill/Alanis Morissette] "All I Really Want"—Full House
[Jeff Buckley] "Je Nein Connias Pas La Fin"—Jeremiah
[Jerry Maguire/The Who] "Getting In Tune"—late night TV with Dad
[Jock Jams 4/Backstreet Boys] "Everybody"—bedroom dance routines
[Jock Rock 2000/Barenaked Ladies] "One Week"—learning the lyrics in the piano room
[Jock Rock 2000/Fatboy Slim] "Rockerfella Skank"—Christmas at grandma's, She's All That
[Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat]—watching high schoolers in awe
[Josh's Mix/Eminem] "Lose Yourself"—memorizing the lyrics, singing them to Brian freshman year of college
[Joshua Tree/U2] "In God's Country"—driving towards Pikes Peak on a clear morning
[Joshua Tree/U2] "
[Journey Greatest Hits/Journey] “Don’t Stop Believin’”—the Accord
[Juno/The Moldy Peaches] “Anyone Else But You”—When Harry Met Sally
[Kala/M.I.A.] “Paper Planes”—Brooke
[L’integrale Piaf/Edith Piaf]—Camille
[Lady Antebellum] “I Run To You”—Heidi, driving to white water rafting
[LeftRightLeftRightLeft/Coldplay] “Glass of Water”—Coldplay concert/June 2009
[Les Misérables] “Castle On A Cloud”—Solo and Ensemble, middle school choir
[Let Go/Avril Lavigne] “Tomorrow”—driving in the dark, high school
[Let It Die/Feist]—Alicia, Brooklyn
[Life in Cartoon Motion/MIKA]—Julie, New York summer 2007
[Lift/Audio Adrenaline]—Dave and Youth Crew
[Lykki Li] “Dance Dance Dance”—Lily
[Line Dances] “Electric Slide”—Camp Palmer
[Lion King]—collector cards, the genius idea of combining them
[Listen To My Heart]—seeing it at CCM, emotional turmoil
[Little Voice/Sara Barielles]—Christie’s, the Upper East Side in the rain
[Love, Angel, Music, Baby/Gwen Stefani] “Hollaback Girl”—
[Man Comes Around/Johnny Cash] “Hurt”—the upstairs apartment, Basel
[A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar/Dashboard Confessional]—high school in the rain, driving home for Thanksgiving break sophomore year of college]
[Mary Poppins]—Matt, junior year of high school
[The Matrix/Rob D.] “Clubbed to Death”—the parsonage, Luther League
[Mean Girls/Joe Budden] “Fire”—teen angst
[Memory Almost Full/Paul McCartney]—New York summer 2007
[Miles Davis]—Todd
[Millennium/Backstreet Boys] “Larger Than Life”—
[MmHmm/Relient K]—Phil
[Moulin Rouge] “Lady Marmalade”—Erica’s house for a sleepover
[Move Along/All-American Rejects]—Amanda
[Movie Love Themes/Cincinnati Pops] “Main Theme from On Golden Pond”—Mom
[Movie Music–The Definitive Performances/The Byrds “Ballad of Easy Rider”—Survey of Film, spring 2008
[Mr. Holland’s Opus]—middle school band
[Mrs. Doubtfire]—grandma’s living room
[Music Man]—New York
[My Girl] “Main Theme”—Sunday mornings eating pop-tarts
[Newsies]—middle school choir
[Nickel Creek]—Kris
[Nina Simone]—Sam, A2
[No Line on the Horizon/U2] “Unknown Caller”—the Voltaplatz hi-fi system, Sam, Dublin pubs
[No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls/Simple Plan]—Amanda’s mixes
[Now/Fastball] “The Way”—
[Now 2/Fatboy Slim] “Praise You”—
[Now 4/Train] “Meet Virginia”—
[Now Christmas/Bing and David Bowie] “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth”—grandma and WNDH
[Ocean Avenue/Yellowcard] “One Year, Six Months”—high school
[Ocean’s 12]—Todd
[On A Clear Night/Missy Higgins] “Where I Stood”—driving with Linda, the Springs
[Once/Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová]—salmon spaghetti and missing keys
[One Cell In The Sea/A Fine Frenzy] “The Minnow & The Trout]—Allison
[One Cell In The Sea/A Fine Frenzy] “Hope for the Hopeless”—post New York trip, December 2008
[Only By The Night/Kings of Leon] “Sex on Fire”— driving with Darwin to Herzogenbuchsee
[Only the Lonely/Frank Sinatra] “Guess I’ll Hang My Tears Out To Dry”—
[Our Endless Numbered Days/Iron & Wine]—Kris
[The Parent Trap/The La’s] “There She Goes”—Amanda, dreams of traveling
[Patch Adams/Stills and Nash] “Carry On”—
[Paul Simon Anthology]—Amanda
[Pee Wee’s Big Adventure]—Amanda
[Phil Collins: Hits] “I Wish It Would Rain Down”—my parents
[Philadelphia/Bruce Springsteen] “Streets of Philadelphia”—freshman year of college, winter break
[Pink Moon/Nick Drake]—
[The Producers]—the Odyssey
[Psycho–The Essential Alfred Hitchcock] “Dial M for Murder Suite”—watching AMC with mom
[Purest Place/Watermark]—Cami
[PureVolume/Houston Automatic] “Brilliant”—high school
[Rain Man/The Belle Stars] “Iko Iko”—Lamborghinis, mom
[The Reason/Hoobastank] “Lucky”—high school, driving from play practice
[Rent]—Alyssa, Jeremy
[Revolutionary Road/Thomas Newman] “Golden People”—Pathe! Theaters, cultural misunderstandings
[Rockferry/Duffy] “Mercy”—A2, giraffe dress
[Rocky/Bill Conti] “Gonna Fly Now”—Philly art museum
[Room for Squares/John Mayer]—the light booth, Bye Bye Birdie, spring 2003
[Royal Tenenbaums]—Kay and Jordan, the house on Wayne Park Drive
[Give Yourself Away/Robbie Seay Band] "Rise"—Crossroads
[Gotee Records/Family Force 5] "Kountry Gentleman"—Julie
[A Grateful People/Watermark] "More Than You'll Ever Know"—Kris and Cami
[Grease] "Summer Lovin'"—Andrea's house, middle school, along with that mall board game, and that metalcasting set
[Guero/Beck]—freshman year of college
[Guys and Dolls] "Sit Down You're Rockin' The Boat"—an overwritten cassette, hello how are you doooing...
[Harmful If Swallowed/Dane Cook] "Stupid Alarm Clock Games"—Meghan, freshman year of college
[Hello Dolly!]—Steph, sleeping in muslin piles
[Hideaway/The Weepies] "Just Blue"—driving away from the Hatchet on a cold rainy morning
[The Highest Heights/The Lovebugs] "21st Century Man"—driving with Darwin on the way to Herzogenbuchsee
[Hits/Joni Mitchell] "Both Sides Now"—March 2009
[The Hits/REO Speedwagon] "Keep On Lovin' You"—Dad, the falling over letters
[The Holiday] "Three Musketeers"—Allison
[Home Alone Christmas/Fox Albert Choir] "My Christmas Tree"—Matt, and the Thanksgiving tradition
[Hook] "Presenting the Hook"—a certain bet
[Hopes and Fears/Keane]—Julie
[Horse of a Different Color/Big and Rich]—Senior year of high school, backstage at JLJ, Todd
[Hot Fuss/The Killers]—Julie, getting into the car in the park in Napoleon
[Hotel Paper/Michelle Branch]—Tiffany, painting the 4-H booth
[How It Ends/Devotchka] "How It Ends"—Megan and our drives freshman year
[How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb/U2] "City of Blinding Lights"—watching A Devil Wears Prada, dad, warm socks
[How To Save A Life/The Fray]—Alyssa
[Hunchback of Notre Dame]—freshman year art history
[Hungriges Herz/Scala and Kolacny Brothers] "Hungriges Herz"—late nights at the Lindenhof flat
[I Am Telling You For The Last Time/Jerry Seinfeld]—Julie, the Kramer silkscreen, Lord of the Flies and AP Lit
[In Bruges]—Katie, assigned theater seats
[Into the Light/Gloria Estefan] "Coming Out Of The Dark"—Dad, the blue Toyota
[Into Your Head/BB Mak]—high school
[Invincible/Skillet] "Best Kept Secret"—wrecklessly pulling into the high school parking lot
[It's Time/Michael Bublé] "Home"—Linda, and driving to Denver
[Jagged Little Pill/Alanis Morissette] "All I Really Want"—Full House
[Jeff Buckley] "Je Nein Connias Pas La Fin"—Jeremiah
[Jerry Maguire/The Who] "Getting In Tune"—late night TV with Dad
[Jock Jams 4/Backstreet Boys] "Everybody"—bedroom dance routines
[Jock Rock 2000/Barenaked Ladies] "One Week"—learning the lyrics in the piano room
[Jock Rock 2000/Fatboy Slim] "Rockerfella Skank"—Christmas at grandma's, She's All That
[Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat]—watching high schoolers in awe
[Josh's Mix/Eminem] "Lose Yourself"—memorizing the lyrics, singing them to Brian freshman year of college
[Joshua Tree/U2] "In God's Country"—driving towards Pikes Peak on a clear morning
[Joshua Tree/U2] "
[Journey Greatest Hits/Journey] “Don’t Stop Believin’”—the Accord
[Juno/The Moldy Peaches] “Anyone Else But You”—When Harry Met Sally
[Kala/M.I.A.] “Paper Planes”—Brooke
[L’integrale Piaf/Edith Piaf]—Camille
[Lady Antebellum] “I Run To You”—Heidi, driving to white water rafting
[LeftRightLeftRightLeft/Coldplay] “Glass of Water”—Coldplay concert/June 2009
[Les Misérables] “Castle On A Cloud”—Solo and Ensemble, middle school choir
[Let Go/Avril Lavigne] “Tomorrow”—driving in the dark, high school
[Let It Die/Feist]—Alicia, Brooklyn
[Life in Cartoon Motion/MIKA]—Julie, New York summer 2007
[Lift/Audio Adrenaline]—Dave and Youth Crew
[Lykki Li] “Dance Dance Dance”—Lily
[Line Dances] “Electric Slide”—Camp Palmer
[Lion King]—collector cards, the genius idea of combining them
[Listen To My Heart]—seeing it at CCM, emotional turmoil
[Little Voice/Sara Barielles]—Christie’s, the Upper East Side in the rain
[Love, Angel, Music, Baby/Gwen Stefani] “Hollaback Girl”—
[Man Comes Around/Johnny Cash] “Hurt”—the upstairs apartment, Basel
[A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar/Dashboard Confessional]—high school in the rain, driving home for Thanksgiving break sophomore year of college]
[Mary Poppins]—Matt, junior year of high school
[The Matrix/Rob D.] “Clubbed to Death”—the parsonage, Luther League
[Mean Girls/Joe Budden] “Fire”—teen angst
[Memory Almost Full/Paul McCartney]—New York summer 2007
[Miles Davis]—Todd
[Millennium/Backstreet Boys] “Larger Than Life”—
[MmHmm/Relient K]—Phil
[Moulin Rouge] “Lady Marmalade”—Erica’s house for a sleepover
[Move Along/All-American Rejects]—Amanda
[Movie Love Themes/Cincinnati Pops] “Main Theme from On Golden Pond”—Mom
[Movie Music–The Definitive Performances/The Byrds “Ballad of Easy Rider”—Survey of Film, spring 2008
[Mr. Holland’s Opus]—middle school band
[Mrs. Doubtfire]—grandma’s living room
[Music Man]—New York
[My Girl] “Main Theme”—Sunday mornings eating pop-tarts
[Newsies]—middle school choir
[Nickel Creek]—Kris
[Nina Simone]—Sam, A2
[No Line on the Horizon/U2] “Unknown Caller”—the Voltaplatz hi-fi system, Sam, Dublin pubs
[No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls/Simple Plan]—Amanda’s mixes
[Now/Fastball] “The Way”—
[Now 2/Fatboy Slim] “Praise You”—
[Now 4/Train] “Meet Virginia”—
[Now Christmas/Bing and David Bowie] “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth”—grandma and WNDH
[Ocean Avenue/Yellowcard] “One Year, Six Months”—high school
[Ocean’s 12]—Todd
[On A Clear Night/Missy Higgins] “Where I Stood”—driving with Linda, the Springs
[Once/Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová]—salmon spaghetti and missing keys
[One Cell In The Sea/A Fine Frenzy] “The Minnow & The Trout]—Allison
[One Cell In The Sea/A Fine Frenzy] “Hope for the Hopeless”—post New York trip, December 2008
[Only By The Night/Kings of Leon] “Sex on Fire”— driving with Darwin to Herzogenbuchsee
[Only the Lonely/Frank Sinatra] “Guess I’ll Hang My Tears Out To Dry”—
[Our Endless Numbered Days/Iron & Wine]—Kris
[The Parent Trap/The La’s] “There She Goes”—Amanda, dreams of traveling
[Patch Adams/Stills and Nash] “Carry On”—
[Paul Simon Anthology]—Amanda
[Pee Wee’s Big Adventure]—Amanda
[Phil Collins: Hits] “I Wish It Would Rain Down”—my parents
[Philadelphia/Bruce Springsteen] “Streets of Philadelphia”—freshman year of college, winter break
[Pink Moon/Nick Drake]—
[The Producers]—the Odyssey
[Psycho–The Essential Alfred Hitchcock] “Dial M for Murder Suite”—watching AMC with mom
[Purest Place/Watermark]—Cami
[PureVolume/Houston Automatic] “Brilliant”—high school
[Rain Man/The Belle Stars] “Iko Iko”—Lamborghinis, mom
[The Reason/Hoobastank] “Lucky”—high school, driving from play practice
[Rent]—Alyssa, Jeremy
[Revolutionary Road/Thomas Newman] “Golden People”—Pathe! Theaters, cultural misunderstandings
[Rockferry/Duffy] “Mercy”—A2, giraffe dress
[Rocky/Bill Conti] “Gonna Fly Now”—Philly art museum
[Room for Squares/John Mayer]—the light booth, Bye Bye Birdie, spring 2003
[Royal Tenenbaums]—Kay and Jordan, the house on Wayne Park Drive
Friday, September 11
Music: A-B-C-D-E-F
Isn't it amazing how music can unlock a secret hatch in your brain? The staff lines peel apart, and spew 10-year-old lyrics flawlessly.
I have a little free time tonight. Went through my iTunes. Now regurgitating my music memories.
[Album/Artist] "Song"—memory
[Aladdin] "Arabian Nights"—my cousins' basement, laying on the longhair carpet
[Albertine/Brooke Fraser] "Seeds"—the F train, New York
[All For Coffee/Shane Piasecki] "She Falls Like Rain"—junior year of high school
[All That You Can't Leave Behind/U2] "Walk On"—the Friends finale
[Anthems for the Imperfect/Everyday Sunday] "The One"—AALC Youth Conference, 2005
[Armageddon] "Animal Crackers"—Napoleon Public Library
[Assassination of Jesse James/Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds]—Melody and the Voltaplatz flat
[Atlantic Records: 50 Years] "Yakety Yak" and "Mack the Knife"—singing to myself in the Civic
[Atlantic Records: 50 Years/Sister Sledge] "We Are Family"—Old Navy
[Autobiography/Ashlee Simpson] "Shadow"—high school
[Back to Black/Amy Winehouse]—cleaning the Lindenhofstraße flat
[Balance/Van Halen] "Seventh Seal'—driving home from shark dissections
[Blue Man Group]—Chicago
[Baum Pre-Production] "Hope That We Once Had"—Fasnacht 2009
[Beatles 1/The Beatles] "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da"—pizza making party in Indian Hill
[Beautiful Lumps of Coal/Plumb]—Krista and ROAR, 2005
[Beauty from Pain/Superchick]—painting the Calvins in the high school hallway
[Bedknobs and Broomsticks]—red card table, felt bears, toast with brown sugar, sink-washed hair
[Beethoven]—Homecoming dresses and champagne flutes of Mountain Dew
[Begin to Hope/Regina Spektor] "Samson"—jan 2009
[Ben Folds Live] "Zac and Sara"—high school
[Best Of/Ricky Martin] "Livin' La Vida Loca"—middle school dances
[Best Of/Steppenwolf] "Magic Carpet Ride"—Spence from "The King of Queens"
[Billy Joel Greatest Hits] "We Didn't Start The Fire"—middle school choir
[Billy Joel Greatest Hits] "Piano Man"— Senior AP Comp
[Blue/Third Eye Blind] "Wounded"—summer nights in Napoleon
[Breakaway/Kelly Clarkson] "Breakaway"—high school graduation
[Breakaway/Kelly Clarkson] "Since U Been Gone"—a certain speeding incident
[Busted Stuff/DMB] "Where Are You Goin'"—high school art
[Cake] "Wheels"—freshman year of college
[Candycoatedwaterdrops/Plumb] "Late Great Earth"—painting the 4-H booth in the garage
[Chutes Too Narrow/The Shins]—watching Garden State
[Circle/Eddie Izzard]—watching Lego YouTube videos at the WG table
[Classic Hits Live/Foreigner] "Juke Box Hero"—high school
[Classic Queen] "Bohemian Rhapsody"—Brianna's house, 7th grade
[Collection of Short Stories/Houston Calls]—Phil
[Come Away With Me/Norah Jones]—sleepovers at Kristen's apartment
[Cracked Rear View/Hootie and the Blowfish]—the Dodge Grand Caravan, driving to Cleveland
[Dan's Mix III/Beck] "E-Pro"—freshman year of college
[Dance Into The Light/Phil Collins]—driving to Cleveland
[Devil Wears Prada/KT Tunstall]—"Suddenly I See"—walking in heels with a big smile
[Dixie Chicks] "Travelin' Soldier"—Katie with her new driver's license
[Dizzy Up The Girl/Goo Goo Dolls]—
[Dog Problems/The Format]—Spoon concert at Battery Park
[Drastic Fantastic/KT Tunstall] "Paper Aeroplane"—grey cube at HQ
[Edward Scissorhands]—the TNT network
[Elliot Smith]— "Good Will Hunting'
[Enchanted]—St. Louis with Katie
[Essential Simon and Garfunkel]—walking through Central Park in the winter
[Eve 6] "Anytime"—peeling out of the high school parking lot
[Everything You Want/Vertical Horizon] "You're A God"—
[Eye To The Telescope/KT Tunstall] "Black Horse & Cherry Tree"—Soho Apple store
[Eyes Open/Snow Patrol] "Chasing Cars"—St. Louis with Megan
[Feels Like Today/Rascal Flatts] "Skin"—HCF grandstand
[Finally Woken/Jem] "Save Me"—paint chips freshman year DAAP
[Finding Neverland] "Impossible Opening"—Bible study in Siddall, freshman year
[Firm, The] "Memphis Stomp"—piano music store in Chicago?
[Five] "When The Lights Go Out"—middle school with Brianna
[Five Leaves Left/Nick Drake]—winter snow falling
[Freaky Friday/Diffuser] "I Wonder"—high school
[Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga/Spoon] "You Got Your Cherry Bomb"—Dunkin' Donuts by the WTC
I have a little free time tonight. Went through my iTunes. Now regurgitating my music memories.
[Album/Artist] "Song"—memory
[Aladdin] "Arabian Nights"—my cousins' basement, laying on the longhair carpet
[Albertine/Brooke Fraser] "Seeds"—the F train, New York
[All For Coffee/Shane Piasecki] "She Falls Like Rain"—junior year of high school
[All That You Can't Leave Behind/U2] "Walk On"—the Friends finale
[Anthems for the Imperfect/Everyday Sunday] "The One"—AALC Youth Conference, 2005
[Armageddon] "Animal Crackers"—Napoleon Public Library
[Assassination of Jesse James/Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds]—Melody and the Voltaplatz flat
[Atlantic Records: 50 Years] "Yakety Yak" and "Mack the Knife"—singing to myself in the Civic
[Atlantic Records: 50 Years/Sister Sledge] "We Are Family"—Old Navy
[Autobiography/Ashlee Simpson] "Shadow"—high school
[Back to Black/Amy Winehouse]—cleaning the Lindenhofstraße flat
[Balance/Van Halen] "Seventh Seal'—driving home from shark dissections
[Blue Man Group]—Chicago
[Baum Pre-Production] "Hope That We Once Had"—Fasnacht 2009
[Beatles 1/The Beatles] "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da"—pizza making party in Indian Hill
[Beautiful Lumps of Coal/Plumb]—Krista and ROAR, 2005
[Beauty from Pain/Superchick]—painting the Calvins in the high school hallway
[Bedknobs and Broomsticks]—red card table, felt bears, toast with brown sugar, sink-washed hair
[Beethoven]—Homecoming dresses and champagne flutes of Mountain Dew
[Begin to Hope/Regina Spektor] "Samson"—jan 2009
[Ben Folds Live] "Zac and Sara"—high school
[Best Of/Ricky Martin] "Livin' La Vida Loca"—middle school dances
[Best Of/Steppenwolf] "Magic Carpet Ride"—Spence from "The King of Queens"
[Billy Joel Greatest Hits] "We Didn't Start The Fire"—middle school choir
[Billy Joel Greatest Hits] "Piano Man"— Senior AP Comp
[Blue/Third Eye Blind] "Wounded"—summer nights in Napoleon
[Breakaway/Kelly Clarkson] "Breakaway"—high school graduation
[Breakaway/Kelly Clarkson] "Since U Been Gone"—a certain speeding incident
[Busted Stuff/DMB] "Where Are You Goin'"—high school art
[Cake] "Wheels"—freshman year of college
[Candycoatedwaterdrops/Plumb] "Late Great Earth"—painting the 4-H booth in the garage
[Chutes Too Narrow/The Shins]—watching Garden State
[Circle/Eddie Izzard]—watching Lego YouTube videos at the WG table
[Classic Hits Live/Foreigner] "Juke Box Hero"—high school
[Classic Queen] "Bohemian Rhapsody"—Brianna's house, 7th grade
[Collection of Short Stories/Houston Calls]—Phil
[Come Away With Me/Norah Jones]—sleepovers at Kristen's apartment
[Cracked Rear View/Hootie and the Blowfish]—the Dodge Grand Caravan, driving to Cleveland
[Dan's Mix III/Beck] "E-Pro"—freshman year of college
[Dance Into The Light/Phil Collins]—driving to Cleveland
[Devil Wears Prada/KT Tunstall]—"Suddenly I See"—walking in heels with a big smile
[Dixie Chicks] "Travelin' Soldier"—Katie with her new driver's license
[Dizzy Up The Girl/Goo Goo Dolls]—
[Dog Problems/The Format]—Spoon concert at Battery Park
[Drastic Fantastic/KT Tunstall] "Paper Aeroplane"—grey cube at HQ
[Edward Scissorhands]—the TNT network
[Elliot Smith]— "Good Will Hunting'
[Enchanted]—St. Louis with Katie
[Essential Simon and Garfunkel]—walking through Central Park in the winter
[Eve 6] "Anytime"—peeling out of the high school parking lot
[Everything You Want/Vertical Horizon] "You're A God"—
[Eye To The Telescope/KT Tunstall] "Black Horse & Cherry Tree"—Soho Apple store
[Eyes Open/Snow Patrol] "Chasing Cars"—St. Louis with Megan
[Feels Like Today/Rascal Flatts] "Skin"—HCF grandstand
[Finally Woken/Jem] "Save Me"—paint chips freshman year DAAP
[Finding Neverland] "Impossible Opening"—Bible study in Siddall, freshman year
[Firm, The] "Memphis Stomp"—piano music store in Chicago?
[Five] "When The Lights Go Out"—middle school with Brianna
[Five Leaves Left/Nick Drake]—winter snow falling
[Freaky Friday/Diffuser] "I Wonder"—high school
[Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga/Spoon] "You Got Your Cherry Bomb"—Dunkin' Donuts by the WTC
Monday, June 29
Denver Dancing and Other Weekend Fun
So for the heck of it, I drove up to Denver with a fellow intern on Friday night to go to the Colorado Country Classic.
I really had no idea what to expect. I knew that there would be open dancing, I knew that I can't dance, but agreed blindly anyways. My friend Linda had met some of the dancers in a club in downtown Colorado Springs the previous weekend, and learned West Coast Swing, so I was excited to learn that, and then see what else came our way.
Stopped in Aurora to pick up another fellow intern, who was graciously letting us stay at her house for the night, and then headed to the competition. Reaching the hotel where the competition was being held, I was floored by 90s, Full House atmosphere that was being exuded; diamond studded everything, clothes that could have easily donned Tara Lipinski, stage makeup, two-tiered ponytails, dancing shoes, pre-competition massage stations... it was a total subculture. We sat down to watch the Pro-Am competition, a lot like Dancing with the Stars. We felt sort of stalker-like, because by the end we knew all the competitors' names, and had our favorites.
On Saturday, we went to a Cherry Blossom Festival at Sakura Square in downtown Denver. It was much smaller than we anticipated, and I couldn't find any homemade paper, so we made our way to the to Tattered Cover, a bookstore in LoDo (Lower Denver) that is eclectic, and has a pretty amazing selection. I have been recently introduced to McSweeney's, which is a literary magazine that has some killer package designs. I loved the homey, lodge-like atmosphere.
Before we left, went to a restaurant called Mad Greens, a salad place on the 16th Street Mall. With salads like the "Edgar Allen Poe" and "da Vinci" it was certainly quirky and delish. When coming back to the Springs, I headed to the baseball park to see the Colorado Springs SkySox play the Portland Beavers (farm league). It was Navs night, and I stood at the table with my roommate, Julie, telling people about NavPress and giving out free devotionals. It was freezing and raining, definitely not good baseball weather. There were two rain delays, and after awhile Julie and I got too cold and antsy to wait any longer... so we decided to get ice cream instead!
This morning, I tried Woodman Valley Chapel, a church just a few miles away from my apartment. One of the funniest moments of the service was when the British worship leader said, "You will probably never hear this from anyone else, but Happy 4th of July from England!" The message was really pertinent, speaking about change, and how we deal and persevere. Afterwards, the couple sitting next to me invited me out to brunch, so that was fun, getting to know new people and hear their viewpoints on the church.
So much more to say, since everything is new at this point, but too tired. Excited to share more as the days progress!
I really had no idea what to expect. I knew that there would be open dancing, I knew that I can't dance, but agreed blindly anyways. My friend Linda had met some of the dancers in a club in downtown Colorado Springs the previous weekend, and learned West Coast Swing, so I was excited to learn that, and then see what else came our way.
Stopped in Aurora to pick up another fellow intern, who was graciously letting us stay at her house for the night, and then headed to the competition. Reaching the hotel where the competition was being held, I was floored by 90s, Full House atmosphere that was being exuded; diamond studded everything, clothes that could have easily donned Tara Lipinski, stage makeup, two-tiered ponytails, dancing shoes, pre-competition massage stations... it was a total subculture. We sat down to watch the Pro-Am competition, a lot like Dancing with the Stars. We felt sort of stalker-like, because by the end we knew all the competitors' names, and had our favorites.
On Saturday, we went to a Cherry Blossom Festival at Sakura Square in downtown Denver. It was much smaller than we anticipated, and I couldn't find any homemade paper, so we made our way to the to Tattered Cover, a bookstore in LoDo (Lower Denver) that is eclectic, and has a pretty amazing selection. I have been recently introduced to McSweeney's, which is a literary magazine that has some killer package designs. I loved the homey, lodge-like atmosphere.
Before we left, went to a restaurant called Mad Greens, a salad place on the 16th Street Mall. With salads like the "Edgar Allen Poe" and "da Vinci" it was certainly quirky and delish. When coming back to the Springs, I headed to the baseball park to see the Colorado Springs SkySox play the Portland Beavers (farm league). It was Navs night, and I stood at the table with my roommate, Julie, telling people about NavPress and giving out free devotionals. It was freezing and raining, definitely not good baseball weather. There were two rain delays, and after awhile Julie and I got too cold and antsy to wait any longer... so we decided to get ice cream instead!
This morning, I tried Woodman Valley Chapel, a church just a few miles away from my apartment. One of the funniest moments of the service was when the British worship leader said, "You will probably never hear this from anyone else, but Happy 4th of July from England!" The message was really pertinent, speaking about change, and how we deal and persevere. Afterwards, the couple sitting next to me invited me out to brunch, so that was fun, getting to know new people and hear their viewpoints on the church.
So much more to say, since everything is new at this point, but too tired. Excited to share more as the days progress!
Colorado Architecture
Besides the natural architecture of the mountains, and some of the crazy-big homes that are nestled in them, Colorado Springs has the same corporate "boxes" as a lot of other towns across America. It's funny, though, because boxmakers make some sort of attempt to "Colorado-fy" their boxes by adding stone facade and veneers. Check out this Lowe's:
Sometimes I feel like the chains are trying to fool us; we are not the Big Bad Wolf, we are products of the mountains, that have been unearthed and now bring you low-price goods. Eh, just a thought.
Sometimes I feel like the chains are trying to fool us; we are not the Big Bad Wolf, we are products of the mountains, that have been unearthed and now bring you low-price goods. Eh, just a thought.
Thursday, June 25
"Lawn Ornaments"
Ute Valley Park in right across the street from my house, so lots of convenient hiking! I have really been trying to take advantage of my surroundings, and love to have beautiful views of the sunset and of Pikes Peak. I have seen so much wildlife, as you can see from the photo, there are always a few Bambi lurking about. I want to keep a "Creature Count," but I have seen so much so far. I think I have seen at least a deer a day, many jackrabbits, and the Colorado state bird, the Lark Bunting.
"The Glen"
So when you wake up in the morning, and see Pike's Peak, you think it can't get much better. And then I remember that I work near a castle. Woah.
This castle is part of Glen Eyrie, and was built by General Palmer, the founder of Colorado Springs, near the Garden of the Gods. It was once owned by Billy Graham, and then the Navigators. Now the Carriage House is a coffee shop, and there are tours that run through regularly. They also have a High Tea, which would be fun to check out. At this point, I've only been on the trails, so I am excited to see and learn more.
The trails and the grounds are always open to NavsStaff. It's pretty cool, flashing my ID badge and entering the grounds.
Below is a picture of Dawson Trotman's grave, founder of the Navigators. He has a really good view of the grounds and of the Garden of the Gods! I learned of Dawson a few years ago in Large Group (in Cincinnati), but have learned much more about him in the last week. Will probably dedicate a post to that later on when I know more.
This castle is part of Glen Eyrie, and was built by General Palmer, the founder of Colorado Springs, near the Garden of the Gods. It was once owned by Billy Graham, and then the Navigators. Now the Carriage House is a coffee shop, and there are tours that run through regularly. They also have a High Tea, which would be fun to check out. At this point, I've only been on the trails, so I am excited to see and learn more.
The trails and the grounds are always open to NavsStaff. It's pretty cool, flashing my ID badge and entering the grounds.
Below is a picture of Dawson Trotman's grave, founder of the Navigators. He has a really good view of the grounds and of the Garden of the Gods! I learned of Dawson a few years ago in Large Group (in Cincinnati), but have learned much more about him in the last week. Will probably dedicate a post to that later on when I know more.
Navs Headquarters
Began work on Monday, and dove right into my project! I will be designing the 2010 Short Term Summer Missions brochure for Navigators, and working on an overall identity and grid system design for the group, part of their "Reimagining" process. It has been awesome learning about the behind the scenes work that goes into mission work, and seeing all of the arms of the Navigators reaching out to the World. I've heard our team, USIMG (United States International Missions Group), described as the "home" team, and the overseas workers as the "away." I love to see how our work here can supplement others'!
I am excited for the Family Gathering, which will be July 10–16. This is an event where nearly 60 people from their stations around the world will come to relax and enjoy time in Colorado, while also work through hardships that they are facing there. I will be working with 3–6 year old, teaching a sort of Vacation Bible School program on the Armor of God. I am thrilled to be mingling with this age group, and very excited to do crafts with them! I am also interested to see if they relate more to American or their other culture, or see what languages come most easily to them.
The people here are extremely encouraging and inviting. My boss, Mark, took me to each cubicle on the first day, and introduced me to the entire team (United States International Missions Group). It seems like people genuinely care about each other here, and have time to listen and answer questions. One woman took a good 45 minutes of her morning to answer questions that I had concerning identity crises of missionary kids, or living in dangerous situations. She was willing to share some of her experience living in Bahrain during the wars. I really hope I can soak up all of their experiences, and see the mission world with open eyes.
I have been experiencing an acronym learning curve: USIMG (see above), PRT (People Resources Team), D4D (Discipleship for Development), NLT (National Leadership Team), EL (Eagle Lake), B2G (Better 2 Gether), MK (missionary kid), TCK (third culture kid) to name a few. And then of course, I am familiarizing myself with NIV, NLT, KJV, NAST... and The Message. Frequently, I think of that scene in RocketMan where Fred Randall is trying to blend by inserting acronyms that he knows into the preflight check... BMW, CNN, ATT...
Here is my cubicle. It is amazingly grey. Added some "spice" with photos and to-do lists, but is still in need of some help.
And this is around the corner, and a true joy to see everyday as I go to to the lunch room or to the bathroom. What is it? It's YOU! All of you that are going on Short Term Missions! I am thrilled to hear about all of the trips, and to be involved in this way. I can't wait to hear all of your stories, and see the ways God is developing you and the people you have been meeting. I think of you very often, and try to pray regularly for your safety and growth. AH! I am so excited for you, and what flavor this will bring to Navs in Cincinnati!
Saturday, June 20
Wy-roaming
Greetings from the road! Currently in Cheyenne, on the way to Colorado Springs. It's been an epic journey with Mom so far, with hectic cities, wide open spaces, and time for conversation. I am so proud of my little Civic, because it is consistently getting 40 mpg, and we have traveled 1295 with no problems. Here's a map of our path so far:
Some observations on the road:
Chicago=Tolls. Tolls. Tolls.
Follow close behind a car with a bike on the back in heavy rain.
Throngs of windmills. Sometimes one, out of a group of ten, is turning the opposite direction. Why?
Abandoned cows, mostly dark brown
Land laced with infinite power lines, no house in sight
Sun-bleached pavement
"Amber waves of grain" that look very soft
A huge highlight has been the Field of Dreams in Heaven, I mean, Dyersville, Iowa. No advertising on the highway, nothing but a sign when we were three miles away (in the middle of nowhere). We arrived, and there were only a few cars there, but after an hour, there were about 15 people roaming and enjoying the absolutely perfect weather.
I had a catch, felt "the cool of the grass on my feet," and walked through the corn, which was not even a foot high yet. They said that for the movie, they needed the corn to be shoulder-high by shooting time; it was a very dry year, and they needed to dam a nearby river to create a reservoir to water the corn. They ended up watering it so much, and it grew so high, that Kevin Costner had to stand on a platform!
Saw a Pony Express station today, as a sidetrip off of i-80. The Pony Express existed for nine months, to speed up delivery of letters to California. Letters were literally transferred from horse to horse in a "mochila," kind of a second saddle.
Tired. Stretching my legs, then sleep.
Some observations on the road:
Chicago=Tolls. Tolls. Tolls.
Follow close behind a car with a bike on the back in heavy rain.
Throngs of windmills. Sometimes one, out of a group of ten, is turning the opposite direction. Why?
Abandoned cows, mostly dark brown
Land laced with infinite power lines, no house in sight
Sun-bleached pavement
"Amber waves of grain" that look very soft
A huge highlight has been the Field of Dreams in Heaven, I mean, Dyersville, Iowa. No advertising on the highway, nothing but a sign when we were three miles away (in the middle of nowhere). We arrived, and there were only a few cars there, but after an hour, there were about 15 people roaming and enjoying the absolutely perfect weather.
I had a catch, felt "the cool of the grass on my feet," and walked through the corn, which was not even a foot high yet. They said that for the movie, they needed the corn to be shoulder-high by shooting time; it was a very dry year, and they needed to dam a nearby river to create a reservoir to water the corn. They ended up watering it so much, and it grew so high, that Kevin Costner had to stand on a platform!
Saw a Pony Express station today, as a sidetrip off of i-80. The Pony Express existed for nine months, to speed up delivery of letters to California. Letters were literally transferred from horse to horse in a "mochila," kind of a second saddle.
Tired. Stretching my legs, then sleep.
Thursday, June 4
Locks for Love
Forgot to post this, but Stephanie came up to Napoleon for, literally, a few hours, to get our hair cut together for Locks for Love. Kailee was the master hairdresser. I was nervous, I admit, since I haven't had short hair in a long time, but I am so glad that I have it cut now. Someone once told me that getting a haircut is a way to transition into a new chapter of your life. Totally true now. Check out the crazy hair model photo in the background of our portrait... :)
Friday, May 22
Pound for Pound
Designers consistently create based on intentional choices. From the very beginning, function drives form, intentions become the basis for the vehicle, and a structure is developed that can be fleshed out.
To many people, paper isn't intentional; whatever's at Staples, whatever comes free with returning an ink cartridge is good enough. But for me, I see it is as an opportunity to be intentional. Paper, believe it or not, can be invigorating. It is a sensory explosion when the Mary Kay reps of the graphic world, the paper reps, come to your workplace for a promotional show-and-tell. Brochures exhibit paper and printing techniques for the deep-pocketed; sample books pegged in one corner fan out like a touting peacock; and over the course of lunch, we melt like we've just been read a Shakespearean sonnet. It's a special time, really, because you dive in the tactility, closing your eyes, rubbing your fingers together, recognizing the impact of the details.
I am thankful that I have this heightened sensitivity.
I guess with all of this said, it is only natural that I have been identifying myself with papers lately. Why do I feel connected to Mead instead of Mohawk? Why do I find comfort in the structure of college-ruled instead of a grid system I have lain myself on a pure sheet of white?
To many people, paper isn't intentional; whatever's at Staples, whatever comes free with returning an ink cartridge is good enough. But for me, I see it is as an opportunity to be intentional. Paper, believe it or not, can be invigorating. It is a sensory explosion when the Mary Kay reps of the graphic world, the paper reps, come to your workplace for a promotional show-and-tell. Brochures exhibit paper and printing techniques for the deep-pocketed; sample books pegged in one corner fan out like a touting peacock; and over the course of lunch, we melt like we've just been read a Shakespearean sonnet. It's a special time, really, because you dive in the tactility, closing your eyes, rubbing your fingers together, recognizing the impact of the details.
I am thankful that I have this heightened sensitivity.
I guess with all of this said, it is only natural that I have been identifying myself with papers lately. Why do I feel connected to Mead instead of Mohawk? Why do I find comfort in the structure of college-ruled instead of a grid system I have lain myself on a pure sheet of white?
Tuesday, May 19
Friday, May 1
Disc Four
Saw The Soloist yesterday evening, and it whisked away some dirt from memories in my mind.
My grandmother gave my family a boxed set of Beethoven symphonies more than ten years ago. They were a free BP giveaway from when she worked in their downtown Cleveland office. I remember the distinct manilla box and cases with their bold yellow and green crest, nomadically migrating through our lives over the years. They traveled from the desk of our second desktop computer in the piano room (which was called a piano room when we had a computer in it, and a computer room when we had a piano in it). The five Beethoven discs made up half of our family CD collection, along with Molly Hatchet's "Flirting with Disaster" and Hootie and the Blowfish's "Cracked Rear View, and an ambient CD entitled "Stream of Dreams" from the Unique Little Gift Shop in Defiance per my birthday request (I can remember alternating the Stream of Dreams CD and the Spice Girls CD I borrowed from the library around the same time in my life. I felt so sophisticated with my very own Sony Discman...) The manilla set made it into the Dodge Grand Caravan, where they didn't fit into the magenta, royal blue, and black CD organizer, because the jewel cases each held two or three discs. So the CDs went into the compartment under the console, forgotten. Probably when we got a new van, they were unearthed and ventured back inside near the surround sound system. All of this moving, and never played.
Probably the end of my freshman year of high school, that is when I found Beethoven again. He was in my room by that point. I went through a phase where I appreciated quantity, even if meaningless; seeing a shelf of CDs was a trophy, even though most of those CDs were singles. Beethoven was an unopened, space-consuming chunk. In an attempt to learn how to tilt up my nose, I opened the set, and found five identical discs, only distinguishable by the small 8pt. "DISC ONE" in the upper right. I haphazardly picked disc four first, so Symphony No. 6 Op. 68 and Symphony No.7 Op. 92 are to this day my favorites. I listened to the other CDs, but there was nothing quite like disc four. I escaped into a formal party, imagining men in fitted jackets with impeccable buttonry, women in pearls and dresses that would take up a room's corner: their whispers, smirks, and fan language. Mind you, these images were fueled mostly by Kate and Leopold and Wishbone. I practiced waltzing (yes), using the reflection from the TV as a guide. I would pour Sprite into a champagne flute and thoroughly enjoy the feeling of the crystal in between my fingertips. Somehow I considered myself better because I opened a free set of CDs.
This movie portrays Beethoven in an entirely different nomadic sense. It was refreshing to hear familiar tunes, with no frills; actually, within serious contexts of downright poverty. He doesn't need to be associated with tilted noses liked I pegged him before. He has the power to permeate a man's soul because of his music. All along, it should've been about the music, not the societal insinuations. I will always appreciate the gap classical music provides, allowing us draw our own illustrations, but I want to approach it humbly. I want to hear it from a cello that was carried in a shopping cart. I want to hear it from a musician that's home is at Beethoven's feet.
I want to approach God like Nathaniel approaches Beethoven. God has always been there in my life, and He has been waiting for me to open Him up, so that he can share his tunes of grace. I want to understand Him, and let his music pour out of me. I want to be humble. I want to make my home at His feet.
My grandmother gave my family a boxed set of Beethoven symphonies more than ten years ago. They were a free BP giveaway from when she worked in their downtown Cleveland office. I remember the distinct manilla box and cases with their bold yellow and green crest, nomadically migrating through our lives over the years. They traveled from the desk of our second desktop computer in the piano room (which was called a piano room when we had a computer in it, and a computer room when we had a piano in it). The five Beethoven discs made up half of our family CD collection, along with Molly Hatchet's "Flirting with Disaster" and Hootie and the Blowfish's "Cracked Rear View, and an ambient CD entitled "Stream of Dreams" from the Unique Little Gift Shop in Defiance per my birthday request (I can remember alternating the Stream of Dreams CD and the Spice Girls CD I borrowed from the library around the same time in my life. I felt so sophisticated with my very own Sony Discman...) The manilla set made it into the Dodge Grand Caravan, where they didn't fit into the magenta, royal blue, and black CD organizer, because the jewel cases each held two or three discs. So the CDs went into the compartment under the console, forgotten. Probably when we got a new van, they were unearthed and ventured back inside near the surround sound system. All of this moving, and never played.
Probably the end of my freshman year of high school, that is when I found Beethoven again. He was in my room by that point. I went through a phase where I appreciated quantity, even if meaningless; seeing a shelf of CDs was a trophy, even though most of those CDs were singles. Beethoven was an unopened, space-consuming chunk. In an attempt to learn how to tilt up my nose, I opened the set, and found five identical discs, only distinguishable by the small 8pt. "DISC ONE" in the upper right. I haphazardly picked disc four first, so Symphony No. 6 Op. 68 and Symphony No.7 Op. 92 are to this day my favorites. I listened to the other CDs, but there was nothing quite like disc four. I escaped into a formal party, imagining men in fitted jackets with impeccable buttonry, women in pearls and dresses that would take up a room's corner: their whispers, smirks, and fan language. Mind you, these images were fueled mostly by Kate and Leopold and Wishbone. I practiced waltzing (yes), using the reflection from the TV as a guide. I would pour Sprite into a champagne flute and thoroughly enjoy the feeling of the crystal in between my fingertips. Somehow I considered myself better because I opened a free set of CDs.
This movie portrays Beethoven in an entirely different nomadic sense. It was refreshing to hear familiar tunes, with no frills; actually, within serious contexts of downright poverty. He doesn't need to be associated with tilted noses liked I pegged him before. He has the power to permeate a man's soul because of his music. All along, it should've been about the music, not the societal insinuations. I will always appreciate the gap classical music provides, allowing us draw our own illustrations, but I want to approach it humbly. I want to hear it from a cello that was carried in a shopping cart. I want to hear it from a musician that's home is at Beethoven's feet.
I want to approach God like Nathaniel approaches Beethoven. God has always been there in my life, and He has been waiting for me to open Him up, so that he can share his tunes of grace. I want to understand Him, and let his music pour out of me. I want to be humble. I want to make my home at His feet.
Diamond In The Rough
Recently discovered negative of Robert Capa, from the times of the Spanish Civil War.
Thursday, April 30
Switching Gears
I am back in Cincinnati, switching gears, and in preparation mode for this summer. My passions for God, people, and art will intertwine into one summer mission: working as a graphic design co-op for the Navigators U.S. Headquarters in Colorado Springs. I am so excited for this opportunity—to deepen my relationship with God, and to experience how graphic design can be an act of service, and a way to encourage and inspire others. It is also going to be awesome to drive out West, and to be completely surrounded in nature (maybe one of these quarters I will make it to the beach, but for now, my place is in the mountains).
Sidenote: when people use the term "switching gears" I always seem to think about Charlie Chaplin and Modern Times. To be honest, I have never even seen the full movie, but this image is engrained in my mind, probably from Sources oh so long ago.
Sidenote: when people use the term "switching gears" I always seem to think about Charlie Chaplin and Modern Times. To be honest, I have never even seen the full movie, but this image is engrained in my mind, probably from Sources oh so long ago.
Friday, March 20
White
My stomach is churning and eyes are watering. I just packed up my room. It is very white again. It is uncomfortable to be in alone, a white island.
On Saturday, I assembled some new IKEA furniture with my roommate—oh, the mighty power of women—and the old sideboards from the living room migrated to my bedroom. That meant that I was packing in, taking the books from my windowsill and putting them into the lockers, storing all the stacks of posters and pamphlets I have been shamelessly accumulating the past few months. Everything looked so seamless, so Swiss. I avoided thinking that I would be unpacking these same things and repacking them into my suitcase in less than a week, transforming back into an American Tourister, "like none of it ever was real."
This week has been difficult, my mind teetering on departing thoughts, as well as arriving again in Cincinnati. Wrapping up projects and writing cards; quite honestly, I don't have anything profound to say. My mind is racing so fast that it is blank, one big white blur.
Research shows that white can symbolize death. Some things that needed to be in my killed in my life have died in the past two weeks. This was painful, is painful (who am I kidding, the pain won't be over for awhile), but it was the right thing to do. White is also purity. Because of this death (and His death), I am pure, even if I don't feel like it. And purity can bring peace. I can't wait for this one. I am white, and I am ready for peace.
Welcome Amanda.
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